How a couple figures out childcare, finances, and general responsibilities will, quite literally, make or break their relationship. Unfortunately, communication is easier said than done, particularly when people choose to not be honest with one another.
A SAHM decided to divorce her husband when she discovered that he was secretly spying on her to prove a point. But the way she described his reasoning led to no small amount of debate in the comments. Bored Panda has reached out to OP via Reddit and will update the story when she gets back to us.
Being a stay-at-home-parent comes with it’s perks and downsides
But one woman ended up getting divorced when her husband thought she was being lazy
OP appears to be lacking a good deal of self-awareness
At first glance, the idea of one’s spouse spying on them is a pretty big eyebrow-raiser. There are all sorts of messed up scenarios where something like this might happen. Indeed, even after it’s revealed that the wife is not keeping up her end of the bargain, it’s still a questionable action. While OP might not actually acknowledge that she is in the wrong, a spy camera is still a pretty extreme measure to take.
After all, a common thread in many, similar arguments, is the working partner complaining that the stay-at-home spouse does too little or does not contribute to the household. There are hundreds, if not thousands of stories out there of entitled and useless husbands. More often than not, this belief is misguided and ignorant, as cooking, cleaning, and looking after kids is a lot of responsibility. Except, as OP herself admits, they have a house cleaner.
On top of that, their kids are not toddlers who need constant supervision, one is old enough to drive and, presumably, babysit the other. A twelve-year-old needs to be looked after but isn’t so young that they can’t entertain themselves. As one comment noted, it’s pretty telling that the kids will call their father for help and not the mother, despite the fact that one of them is literally working throughout the day.
Browsing your phone all day is not exactly back-breaking work
Indeed, OP does a great job of almost making us forget and forgive her husband for literally installing a secret camera. For example, she sees going to the post office as akin to working an entire daily shift. Yes, it might not be fun, but running a handful of errands is not a full-time job. Running an errand after working eight hours, however, is absolutely soul-crushing.
More egregiously, she also decided that sending out paychecks late was acceptable. Not only does this put employees at risk, but this also interferes with her husband’s business, the same business that allows her to not clean all day. To take a step back, it’s easy to see how the spying and feeling of underappreciation can be difficult.
If she wants a certain lifestyle, that is her right, but making entitled demands when someone else pays the bills and you have multiple kids is a pretty extreme level of delusion. Most unworkable relationships have a “last straw” moment, but it’s surprising that it would come from her and not her husband.
The husband has a lot more ground to stand on than OP
While we do not see his side of the story, there is a decent chance that he hasn’t made any extreme moves precisely because they have children together. Splitting the family is difficult, even if, based on both kid’s behavior, they know which parent is the actual adult in the room.
Given the massive amount of popularity this story garnered on Reddit, it’s almost worth considering if the husband and, presumably, his lawyers, will stumble upon it. The details are specific enough. On the other hand, perhaps OP will read the comments, do some real soul-searching, and conclude that this marriage needs counseling and some more responsibility, not a divorce.
