My Husband Made a Schedule to ‘Help Me Be a Better Wife’—So I Gave Him a Lesson He’ll Never Forget
When my husband, Jake, handed me a detailed schedule titled “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife,” I was stunned. Instead of blowing up, I decided to play along—and teach him a lesson that would change his outlook on marriage forever.
I’ve always been the level-headed one in our relationship, balancing Jake’s tendency to dive headfirst into every new trend, hobby, or life hack he found on the internet. But everything changed when Jake befriended Steve.
Steve, Jake’s new coworker, was the kind of guy who believed being loud made him right. Perpetually single (big surprise), Steve had somehow positioned himself as the go-to guy for relationship advice at work. And Jake, unfortunately, was all ears.
At first, I ignored Jake’s parroting of Steve’s unsolicited advice: “Steve says a wife should manage the household,” or “Steve thinks women should always look their best for their husbands.” I rolled my eyes and brushed it off, hoping it was just a phase.
But then came the criticisms. Jake sighed whenever I ordered takeout after a long day or let the laundry pile up because I was juggling my own full-time job. And then, one evening, he hit me with the pièce de résistance: The Schedule.
He sat me down at the kitchen table, unfolded the paper, and slid it across to me.
“I’ve been thinking,” he began, his voice dripping with condescension. “You’re a great wife, Lisa, but I think you could… improve.”
I stared at him, dumbfounded. “Improve?”
Jake nodded, oblivious to the storm brewing in my mind. “Yeah. Steve helped me see that relationships thrive when there’s structure. So, I made this schedule to help you.”
I picked up the paper, scanning the absurd list of tasks he had planned for me. Wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast. Hit the gym to “stay in shape.” Spend the rest of the day cleaning, cooking meals from scratch, and hosting his friends with “fancy snacks.”
It was a condescending, sexist, and downright insulting blueprint for how he thought I should live my life.
I wanted to scream, but instead, I smiled sweetly. “You’re right, Jake. Thank you for thinking of me. I’ll start tomorrow.”
The relief on his face was almost endearing—almost. He had no idea what was coming.
The next morning, I carefully studied his ridiculous schedule and came up with a plan of my own. If Jake wanted a “better wife,” he was about to learn the cost of perfection.
I opened my laptop and created my own masterpiece: Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever. I started by listing everything he expected of me and calculating the costs involved.
Gourmet breakfasts and healthy, organic meals? That would require a hefty grocery budget. Gym memberships and personal trainers? Those weren’t free either. And since Jake wanted me to dedicate all my time to this schedule, I added my lost income to the list—$75,000 annually. After all, someone had to compensate for me quitting my job to be his full-time personal assistant, maid, and chef.
I even threw in a few extras: $50,000 to build a “man cave” for his friends so they wouldn’t disrupt my newfound “routine.” By the time I finished, the list was a financial and logistical nightmare.
That evening, I printed out my list and left it on the counter for Jake. When he walked through the door, I greeted him with a smile.
“What’s this?” he asked, picking up the paper.
“Oh, just a little something I put together to help you be the best husband ever,” I replied innocently.
His grin faded as he read the first few lines. “$1,200 for a personal trainer? $700 a month for groceries? $75,000 to replace your salary? Lisa, what is this?!”
I leaned against the counter, arms crossed. “Well, Jake, you wanted me to follow your schedule. I figured we should budget for all the extra expenses. You’re okay with that, right?”
He looked up, panic spreading across his face. “This… this is insane! Where are we supposed to get this kind of money?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Oh, so you didn’t think about the cost of perfection when you handed me your list?”
It took a moment, but the reality of his demands finally hit him. Jake’s shoulders slumped, and he let out a long sigh. “I’m sorry, Lisa. I didn’t realize how ridiculous it all was. Steve made it sound so… sensible.”
I nodded, my voice calm but firm. “Jake, marriage isn’t about one person fixing the other. It’s about respect and partnership. If you ever try to ‘improve’ me like that again, the cost will be a lot higher than what’s on that paper.”
Jake tore up both lists that night, and for the first time in weeks, I felt like we were back on the same team. He promised to tune out Steve’s toxic advice and focus on being a better partner, not a self-appointed life coach.
Marriage isn’t about perfection—it’s about mutual respect and growing together. And if Steve’s still handing out relationship advice, I’m just glad Jake finally knows better than to listen.
Ethan Blake is a skilled Creative Content Specialist with a talent for crafting engaging and thought-provoking narratives. With a strong background in storytelling and digital content creation, Ethan brings a unique perspective to his role at TheArchivists, where he curates and produces captivating content for a global audience.
Ethan holds a degree in Communications from Zurich University, where he developed his expertise in storytelling, media strategy, and audience engagement. Known for his ability to blend creativity with analytical precision, he excels at creating content that not only entertains but also connects deeply with readers.
At TheArchivists, Ethan specializes in uncovering compelling stories that reflect a wide range of human experiences. His work is celebrated for its authenticity, creativity, and ability to spark meaningful conversations, earning him recognition among peers and readers alike.
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