Her name was Bernadette Thibodeau. She was seventy-four, a retired school lunch lady from Brewer, the town right across the river. Since her daughter Danielle died, she’d been Eli’s legal guardian. The Penobscot County Probate Court had appointed her the month after the funeral.
We sat with her in that little waiting room for three hours. Joanne went back to her unit when her shift started, but she came by every break. I bought Bernadette a cup of tea from the vending machine, and she held it in both hands without drinking it.
“He’s a good boy,” she said. “He’s the best boy. He works at the Hammond Lumber yard on Odlin Road three afternoons a week after school and all day Saturday. Eleven dollars an hour. He gives me half of everything for groceries and the light bill. He says it’s his rent.”
“Bernadette,” I said carefully, “do you know where Eli went every morning before school?”
She looked confused. “He leaves at a quarter to six. He said he liked to get to school early to use the library. He’s applying to colleges.”
“He came to my drive-thru,” I said. “Every school morning for over a year. He bought a hot chocolate, and then he paid for the coffee of the car behind him.” I paused. “It was always the same car, Bernadette. It was always Joanne.”
The old woman set down her tea.
“Every morning?”
“Every school morning.”
Bernadette pressed the rosary against her lips and closed her eyes.
“He told me he was going to find her,” she said quietly. “After Danielle died. He said, ‘Mémère, I’m going to find that nurse and pay her back someday.’ I told him the hospital wouldn’t give out a nurse’s name. He said he didn’t need her name. He’d recognize her.” She shook her head. “I thought it was just grief talking.”
“He found her,” I said. “And then he waited for her every single morning, across the road, so he could pay for her coffee before she ever got to the window.”
“Why wouldn’t he just tell her?” Bernadette whispered. “Why all that sneaking around?”
I thought about the boy at my window, saying “Not really” and driving away.
“I think,” I said slowly, “he didn’t want her to feel like she owed him anything. She gave him something when he had nothing, and she never expected it back. I think he wanted to give it back the same way.”
Bernadette started crying then, the quiet, worn-out crying of a woman who’s done too much of it.
Then she reached into the canvas tote bag beside her and pulled out a thick stack of envelopes held together with a rubber band.
“I don’t know what to do with these,” she said. “They keep coming. The hospital, the insurance, the lawyers. I can’t read half the words. Eli always handled the mail. He handled everything.”
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