That afternoon, I called the Chico Police Department’s non-emergency line.
I didn’t give any names. I described it the way I used to describe things to new clients. Plainly. In order. Dates and times.
An officer named Callahan listened to the whole thing without interrupting. He was polite. He sounded tired. He had clearly heard this story before.
“Ma’am,” he said when I finished, “if she says she lives there, and your son says you agreed to it, that’s a civil matter. We can’t decide who’s telling the truth on a doorstep. You’d have to file an unlawful detainer.”
“In court,” I said.
“In court. I’m sorry.”
I thanked him and hung up. Then I sat at my kitchen table and did the math I had done for other people a thousand times.
An unlawful detainer meant filing. It meant a summons and an answer. Maybe a trial. If Norine asked for a jury, it meant months.
And if October 16th came and went while I was still waiting for a court date, Darcy would stand up in front of a judge and argue that her mother was a tenant. With rights. A tenant who’d lived in my house for more than thirty days.
I thought about changing my locks.
For about four seconds, I honestly did.
Then I remembered the dozens of landlords I had sued for doing exactly that. Changing the locks on somebody who claims to live in a house. Shutting off their power. Putting their things out on the lawn.
In California, that’s called a self-help eviction. It’s illegal. And I had built an entire career out of making people pay for it.
Darcy knew that.
That was the whole point.
They were counting on my principles.
So was I.
That evening, I sent a text to the family group chat.
“Family meeting Friday, 6 p.m. My dining table. Bring Norine. Bring a pen.”
Darcy sent back a thumbs-up in four seconds.
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